Being alone: What no one tells you.

No one tells you about the tough parts of moving across the world.

No one tells you about the feeling when...

You wake up in the morning and forget where you are for a split second. Then you hear the deafening silence and the hollow feeling- the feeling of being alone.

At night I would jerk myself awake, thinking that my cat had jumped on my bed- only to wake up and realise that I am alone in a hotel room.

For the entire month of living in a hotel room I slept with the television on the throughout night. Just so I would not be alone with my thoughts or dreams at night.

You can be surrounded by people who are all going through this "adventure" with you and be completely alone. (And I had my sister! From those first emotions you would think she was not there!).

Then moving into my apartment- where I would wonder around aimlessly late at night, thinking what the hell I had gotten myself into.

Weekend mornings were terrible- no noise of the kettle boiling waking me up. No one to say good morning. (Can you tell this is my first time living alone? Are these feelings normal? Blame it on my tight knit family.)

You can become quite bitter- so I started to go to Church. Who knew in a country across the world I would start going to Church again. I guess the saying is true, "The Lord works in mysterious ways".  


And this believe it or not brought me much comfort, I was not alone! I had the Lord right by my side, with His angels protecting my every step.


Being alone for a short period can be good for the soul.

All these conclusions I have made, would of taken me a very long time to come to, if I was not alone. Being alone means you can not ride on the coat tails of your family and friends. You have to make a decision for yourself- Who am I and what do I believe?

Adventure is not what you see in movies.

I started this blog thinking I was going on this wonderful adventure; that I was so excited for and I would share my wonderful adventure with the world.

Turns out it has taken me two years to do my first post!
That is what a challenge these two years have been!!
It is not an adventure that you see in the movies or the conventional idea of an adventure.


It is an adventure of finding yourself!


I have learnt something else about this big adventure- no one wants to hear the tough parts.
When I complained, I was told by a friend back home, "Well you wanted to go, so I don't know what you are moaning about".

You can not express yourself on social media either- only a fake appearance of tourist photos can you show. But when working and living in a country, you are not a tourist anymore. You begin to see the city for what it is, the good, the bad and the ugly.

These are normal adjustment processes, I have come to learn. And I want to advise those of you wanting to move across the world, "Adventure is not what you see in the movies".

Leaving loved ones behind

"I'd like to be the sort of friend that you have been to me." Edgar A. Guest

 That was a beautiful quote I received from my best friend. I thank God for the friends He has put in my life. To say goodbye to your friends and family is so tough, the tears have already been flowing and I still have one more day to go before I leave. Although this is not really goodbye... it's see you later.

 A poem by e.e. cummings comes to mind when I think about leaving my loved ones behind:


  i carry your heart with me

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate, my sweet) i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

~e. e. cummings

Entering the World of Blogging

I am extremely new to the world of blogging so you will need to bear with me. It’s a Sunday evening and I am creating a blogging account instead of ironing and packing my clothes. I start my traveling adventures on Wednesday with a very early morning flight from Cape Town to Johannesburg then off to Abu Dhabi.

 
So let the adventures begin!